Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
I started AC’s story in Returning Home Without Child. AC is a Canadian who very recently traveled to Ukraine with her husband. They had 2 appointments and couldn’t find a child 24 months or younger.
The SDAPRC is limiting families to 3 appointments. During the appointment (1 hour meeting at SDAPRC’s Kyiv office), the SDAPRC will provide information on 3 to 5 children. The family will ask for more information and then accept 1 referral. After meeting with the child at the orphanage, the family can decide to turn down the child’s referral. Then they return to the SDAPRC’s office for their second appointment and referral. If the family fails to accept this second referral, they typically return home. Several months later they will receive an appointment for their third and final appointment.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
AC’s story continues mostly in her own words. I fixed a few spelling issues and removed some extra commas and periods.
Since AC is Canadian she uses the word “proposal”. Americans use the word “referral”. And I think AC is using “coordinator” while Americans might use “facilitator” or “translator”.
I am reprinting her email with her permission.
The SDA proposed us 3 files.
The first one was a little girl, 17 months, with developmental delay and speech delay.
The remaining 2 proposals, both were 24 months.. one had contracted syphilis, and the second file had more serious developmental delay and speech delay…
My husband and I were excited about the first proposal and decided to visit her at the orphanage.
We were given permission from the regional director and physician from the orphanage to visit within 2 days. It was unbelievable fast and all seems so surreal on how things were going about it’s course so smoothly.
Finally, we arrive at the orphanage and after meeting with the head physician, she has informed with that the children have a viral infection. It was recommended that we can only visits her for 10 minutes. When we saw her, we were in awe. She was petite and cute with her pink dress and bow in her straight brown hair.
The coordinator, told us to come back tomorrow to spend a little more time with the child. And so we did.
On the second visit, after spending more quality time with the child, we were left with some doubts about her medical records. We couldn’t make a connection or bond. We were trying to see if she would respond by eye contact or react to touch and it didn’t have the appropriate reaction needed, with obvious consideration made to the fact that she has been in an orphanage for some time. However, there are still some minimum reactions that we couldn’t detect and that caused us a lot of concern and felt best not to continue with this proposal.
So, we had to make the most difficult decision ever that any parent would have to make… I hated to be in this position.
We informed our coordinator about our decision, and they were not too pleased about this. My husband and I know that we are not pediatrician or behaviourial specialist. However our decision was based on years of preparatory pre-adoption courses, reading material, and not to mention first hand experience in our first adoption in Russia.
We were hoping that things would get better and as a result, we were able to get a second appointment. It was a week later and praying that all [would go ] well…
The appointment came and went.
Again, we were proposed with 3 files. All of the children were 24 months and older with a serious condition.
- epilepsy (4 seizures a month on average),
- child born with hydro encephalitis
- downs syndrome
My husband and I looked and stared at each other as if we were in an awful dream. A long time passed between all of us and I turned towards the social worker/translator and shook my head.
I asked the social worker directly, knowing that she didn’t understand English. WHY, have we been proposed these files and if they were other healthier children that they could propose.
The translator, translated my questions and the answers were quite simple.
Not enough children available for international adoption.
Also, due to the fact during NAC shutdown and reorganization of the SDA. Not sure, but it must of been at least 4 to 6 months when the SDA wasn’t able to register the newly orphaned children from all of the regions. A lot of time has elapsed and the children have to add these extra months before they are available for international adoption.
Who are looking after the rights of the children, especially when it’s all about bureaucracy. I wonder sometimes…
As you all know we are only allowed 3 appointments with the SDA. My husband and I truly believe that after what the social worker informed us, we should of receive an appointment later on [while still in Ukraine]. The second appointment was a wash.
………..
But, we can’t seem to win any arguments with the SDA. In the mist of all this, the SDA had no director or deputy director. So there was no official executive body that was able to make any kind of decision wth regards to our case.
Once couples arrive in in Ukraine for their appointment with the SDA and it doesn’t go well or is unfavourble, we don’t really have any recourse. Our Canadian embassy, didn’t even want to get involved since it’s a PRIVATE matter.
So who do we turn too? What can we do if no one wants to help us?
We felt so powerless and we had no choice/option to find a solution. Especially, when our goal was to simply adopt a healthy child. [Our goal was] to bring a child home to a loving and nurturing home. [A home that is ] filled with and surrounded by grandparents, aunts, cousins and most of all parents with a brother.
At the end of the day, our coordinator, gave us our options. [The coordinator] recommended [we] go back home, empty handed to wait. So that is what we did.
Since then we have been waiting for our third apointment. However, we are terribly scared to fly out again, not knowing of the outcome…
Our faith seems to be diminishing with time.
There are 2 more couples that left right after me. Their profiles were to adopt children under 24 months. Their appointments were in mid April and it didn’t go so well either. It’s so terribly sad for all of us.
…
These couples have been waiting in Ukraine for weeks now.
I try to give them as much encouragement through emails and calls. But I know what they are going through. I really wish that it will work [out]. That they will be able to became a family, after such a long, long emotional journey…
I don’t know what’s going on with the SDA, the politics and bureaucracy, etc. But it’s making us all very nervous. I wish that there was someone, someplace or something that we can do to make some changes for the better.
Because of AC’s email I decided to dig up additional statistics on Ukrainian adoption. I filed my first two Freedom of Information Act requests. I am asking the US State Department and Homeland Security for additional information (gender and age breakdowns) on visas for Ukrainian adopted children. The government is suppose to reply within 20 business days. I will let you know if I hear anything.
I know the information exists. Some statistics have been posted on various US government web sites. For example the US provided statistics on international adopted children for the Hague Adoption Treaty.
And the Office of Immigration Statistics produces a document called the Yearbook of Immigration Statistics.
Here is some interesting information from the 2006 Yearbook. It turns out that I have been wrong about the average age. 56% of the Ukrainian children adopted by Americans in 2006 were over 5 years of age.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
I strongly hope that AC’s story has a happy ending soon.